Wednesday, 7 March 2012

DIARY OF A BAD HOUSEWIFE - Part I*Not to be confused with the "Diary of a Bad Housewife" Blog by punk feminist Alice Bag WHICH I TOTALLY DIG!!*

Have got my cute little checklists all printed and posted up in appropriate places in the house. Thought I might get a jump start on that old devil "Spring Cleaning" but it looks like my tulips have beat me to the punch. Have also got a new pet in the house, a very stinky young ginger cat, and he has joined the conspiracy of my dog, my child and my husband to keep our house messy no matter what I do, or how many times I do it.

So I'm contemplating the role of the broom and of the act of sweeping in the life of, um, contemplation.

Like those monks, you know? Always sweeping the steps of the temple? It's a purely meditative state for them, and that's because there is no actual dirt to sweep. Just the rhythmic swish, swish of the broom across the ancient stone. The cleaning lady has already been through the temple with her vaccuum cleaner and assorted Swiffer products, and has gone home to do her laundry, clean her own house, put a yak in to roast, and play some Mah-jong with the girls.

At my house, as soon as I've cleared a space in which to place some small Zen-like meditative object, my husband comes in and empties his pockets. I suppose that's why I'm so attracted to the big cataclysmic overhaul that I mean when I say "Spring Cleaning." Just trying to keep on top of the clutter is not good enough. I want everything to change drastically, and forever, no going back to the dark (and dusty) ages.

Brooms, buckets, mops, dusters, fancy techno-cloth scrubbers, vinegar and baking soda, and so much more. I'll let you know how it goes.


  1. My motto these days is not to worry too much about it. Of course that is easy to say because I am still in renovation mode. The house is a disaster from top to bottom. Here is a little thing I wrote tonight for my online writing group.

    I got up this morning, bright and early, and decided to sit down and do some writing. But the sun is shining, it is warm, the birds are singing, and the dog really needs to go for a pee. Quickly I don my shoes, grab my coat, and charge out the door. My what a lovely morning.

    Having returned from my walk I fire up the computer to sit down and write. But the hubby is hungry, the cat needs to be fed, the dog is muddy, and the birds need their seed. Quickly I rush out to the kitchen and start breakfast, feed the cat, dry off the dog, and fill the bird feeder. My what a busy morning.

    After finishing what needs doing I decide to go back into the bedroom and write a few lines on my computer. But the bed needs making, the floor needs sweeping, the laundry needs folding, and I can’t find my glasses. My what a disaster this house can be sometimes.

    Alright everything is finished for sure now. I definitely am going to sit down and do some writing. Are you kidding me? We have to leave right now? This is bull shit. My what a conspiracy it is.

  2. Oh I forgot to mention, the writing prompt was The Conspiracy.