Asperger's Corner

I feel a long and disjointed rant bubbling beneath the surface lately. What's inciting my outrage and indignation these days, is the horrible, depressing, violence-inducing topic of children's birthday parties. My kid will be turning 10 in December; I suppose I should be feeling joy and delight as I attempt to plan some sort of social gathering to celebrate the event.

For the past several years, we've gone in for the currently popular practise of booking a venue such as a swimming pool or indoor play-park, which in itself provides the entertainment and eases the kids into their social interactions. Other examples might be a party at a bowling alley, or a McDonald's that has one of those "play-places." I help my kid do up the invitations, and encourage her to invite this one and that one, and do up the loot bags, and buy all kinds of snacks. If it's at a pool, I squeeze myself into my *!#$ bathing suit and supervise the little splashers for 2 hours or whatever it is.

This is all well and good, and it would absolutely be worth all the time and expense, IF any of my child's party guests had the good graces to return the favour. Last year, she invited 5 or 6 kids, 3 of them attended, and NOT ONE invited her to their birthday party as the year unfolded. I don't blame the kids, I blame the parents. Why aren't they teaching appropriate social skills? or just plain manners? How can I manage to smile my way through another one of these nightmares, providing an afternoon of child care, cake and entertainment and thanking them all as they leave, knowing that my daughter won't be bringing any invitations home in her backpack?

That's my rant. Next time on Asperger's Corner: What's so great about eye contact anyway?

Goals, Goalies, Getting One in the Net

This year, I set a couple of goals for myself (well, more than a couple actually). To start submitting short stories to contests and publications. To become more involved in the local writers' community. To learn to drive. Two out of three ain't bad. I am driving around now with a driving instructor, or my husband as a co-driver when I'm not taking a lesson. It's coming along very well, and my instructor says the road test should be no problem. So the driving goal may actually be achieved before my fifty-first birthday this year. I've submitted stories to the Writer's Digest Annual Competition. This is my second attempt at submitting work, and my short story "Lights Out" actually squeaked under the line and made it into the top one hundred for the Genre category. Very pleased with myself about this; at the rate I'm going, I might even make money in this racket by my eleventy-first birthday.

Now, about the getting-more-involved goal... maybe I just don't do "social." Shamefully, I continue to miss meetings of the local Writer's Circle, would like to get out to events but can't be bothered to arrange child care, and so on.... But I'm not quite giving up on that one yet.

In terms of setting and achieving goals, you may notice a theme of "late bloomer" in my life. Learning to drive and just beginning to submit stories at the age of fifty and so on. I'm also a middle-aged woman with a pre-teen child. Not that there wasn't the opportunity; babies and parenthood were early desires of mine, yet I remained childless throughout a lengthy common-law relationship. When that was over, and I found myself single in the big city, the goal of parenthood waited on the shelf until I reached about 37 or 38. Then, the baby hunger hit hard, and I ruthlessly strategized to get pregnant. But no matter how hard I played, I never scored. Finally, I gave up the game and took to enjoying warm summer evenings on the porch with a glass of red wine and Bridget Jones.

Just as I was about to turn forty, I found myself in a relationship with a guy my age who liked a lot of the same things. We had a lot of fun, you might say. I remember warning him one night (or was it morning?) that if we continued  to play without a goalie, we were bound to get one in the net eventually. He gave me his sly smile and said "Better keep working on my slapshot." And so, shortly after my forty-first birthday, and on the exact date of his forty-first birthday, our daughter was born.

When we set goals for ourselves, we plan all the steps leading up to their accomplishment. But I think the most important step is to look for the goalie blocking our way. Whoever, or whatever, that goalie is, you need to remove him from the game. Then, just take your best shot.

Swimming Across the Page

Installation view, several fish in various media

Happy Fish, mixed media, Emma Maki

Trout, aquatint/etching, Lori Gilbert

Jackfish, pencil drawing, Lori Gilbert

Welcome to another fridge-opening reception at La Galerie Kenmore. As you can see, there are a number of fish involved. Generally, my daughter and I tend to have our fish swimming from left to right, and I think this is an expression of our nature(s) as extremely avid readers. I grew up with my nose in a book, and never thought I'd be telling my kid to "Put that book down! Stop reading!" Yet it happens all the time. So, the directional movement of most other activities will naturally follow the course of the left-to-right flow of our primary characteristic activity. Why swim against the current?

You'll note the trout gliding through a set of quotation marks. This was an ongoing theme of mine for several years; I just loved quotation marks, and explored that curvy shape in all its permutations as paisley, leaves, flames, snails, embryos, ripe fruit, and so on. The open-and-close quotes are in the correct position for reading left to right, but notice the fish appears to be moving in the wrong direction (for an embodiment of the physicality of reading). I was puzzled by this today, but then realized I didn't reverse my original drawing when transfering it to the etching plate. Printmaking is like that, you have to think backwards, like Alice through the looking glass.

The jackfish drawing is very simple, but I think I succeeded in capturing the fishy shape of its body as it curves toward the viewer on its way through the water. The jackfish, or pike as it is also known, is swimming cautiously into the picture plane from the left. The trout would have been just entering the image from the left as well, in the original drawing. This contrasts with the placement of my daughter Emma's fish, which has joyfully motored across the page without a care in the world, and is swimming eagerly toward the edge of the page. This compositional difference in the placement of fish in our artworks points to differences in our reading styles and in our motivation for reading. I enjoy a good page-turner as much as anyone, but I especially like a book I can wade into gradually, going over paragraphs several times to make sure I'm absorbing everything the author intends. My kid, on the other hand, likes to jump right in with a big splash, and zoom forward in a straight line toward whatever is going to happen next.

Please enjoy these pictures and words, and help yourself to some wine & cheese. It's on the house.

La Galerie Kenmore presents.....

Remember La Galerie Kenmore? Our last exhibition featured black and white pencil drawings by unofficial domestic artists Lori Gilbert and Emma Maki, a mother-daughter team to watch out for. Currently on view, "Mama's Garden" a work in markers by Ms. Maki circa 2005; and a silkscreen Goddess image by Lori Gilbert from some time in the mid-nineties.

It's the time of year to really start enjoying the rewards of summer's toil. If only my garden were really that neat and tidy. There's more to come in future posts, plus I promise more wine and cheese next time.

Fridge magnets not for sale.

Asperger's Corner

Just a quick post here. My computer is in the shop for god knows how long, but have to share an important bit of information and outrage.

"Talk about discrimination. Immigration Canada turns down an application for permanent residency for a 20-year-old because he has Asperger Syndrome. They figure that he will be a $7,000 annual burden to the healthcare system. I encourage you to comment on this story.

Immigration says son with Asperger’s ‘inadmissible’ to Canada - thestar.com

www.thestar.com

Chris Reynolds wants to stay in Canada with his dad and brother. But the only way his family’s application for permanent residency will be approved is if he’s not on it."

 

This sucks because they are refusing a family entry to Canada based on a young adult's mild disability. It's unlikely that a 20 year old with Asperger's is ready to live on his own, without family support. The reason given is that Immigration sees him as a $7000/year burden on the healthcare system. I would call this an investment. If these kids get adequate support and resources to help them through the school years, they can often become very productive members of society due to their intelligence, unique perspective, and intense focus on work that they are passionate about.

 

As well, the father is a university professor who has been living, working, and paying taxes in Canada for some time now. If this young man can't get residency on his family's application now, he will not be able to get it on his own after age 22, which will leave the family no option but to move back to the states. The pragmatic and ideological implications of this decision are both completely offensive to me, as a mother raising a child with Asperger's Syndrome.

June 14 at 10:05pm · · ·

OPENING RECEPTION: LA GALERIE KENMORE

La Galerie Kenmore: Where art on the fringe meets art on the fridge.
Please excuse poor lighting; this is a kitchen and there is some glare off the sparkling white surface of my fridge. As well, some wine & cheese had already been consumed...

installation view, pencil drawings by Lori Gilbert and Emma Maki. (magnets not available for sale)

Portrait of Child by Lori Gilbert, pencil drawing  (2011)

Fairies at Work in the Landscape by Emma Maki, pencil drawing (2010)

Two Cats by Emma Maki, pencil drawing (circa 2007)

Artist/Curator's statement:

The refrigerator door, with its convenient location and size, becomes the receptacle for documents and images that describe our lives. School calendars, appointments, family photos, news clippings, garbage collection schedules, phone numbers, and of course children's drawings and school work all vie for space and attention here at the heart of the home. We may begin with the intention of organization, everything lined up just so; this is going to be a kind of family communications centre. But clutter and confusion prevail in the end. A stack of expired coupons and old to-do lists provides evidence of this ongoing slide from order into chaos.

To celebrate our activity as (unofficial) artists, and to share work both old and new, I claim this surface as a domestic/alternative/intergenerational/happening kind of place for art. Thank you for coming to view this first modest exhibition featuring black & white pencil drawings by mother and daughter. Colour will be prominent in the next showing.

Enjoy your wine & cheese!

Junk Drawer

This is one of our family junk drawers. An assortment of batteries, tools, lint brushes, pens, stray receipts, keys, Canadian Tire money, and so much more! (I hope I remembered to wipe off the handle before taking the photo...)

 

We have about five or six drawers like this around the house, containing different varieties of junk. One or two of them are exclusively designated for my husband's junk. Some of his junk has recently attained antique status. None of his junk may be touched, lifted, tidied, straightened up, rearranged or in any way tampered with. My art supplies junk drawer has a bottle of india ink, sketchbooks, a tin box holding all my Prismacolour pencils, pictures cut out of magazines, numerous European stamps that I collected when I worked at the LCBO, pens, erasers, and an old rolled-up drawing.

What's in your junk drawer? Do you have several, like we do? Or are you one of those people who would never have such a thing in your house? Please feel free to share the secrets of your junk drawer in the comments section.

Speaking of art supplies, and thus art, you are invited to my next post

featuring a gala opening reception for

La Galerie Kenmore

Photographic refreshments will be served

 and of course you are welcome to bring your own wine & cheese